An update.

I haven't had the chance to update for quite a while now due to my lack of laptop. For those of you who are unaware it is currently in two halves. Not good. Luckily I do have my trusty little phone to provide me with my daily Internet fix, but unfortunately it doesn't take too kindly to blogging.

So the last few weeks have been pretty chilled to be honest. Mainly due to the fact I no longer have the stress of college, and I can't begin to tell you how much of a weight off my shoulders that turned out to be! I think I really did just need time to be a Mum again, though don't get me wrong, there is a lot more to me than that! I just didn't realise just how much I was missing being at college 9-5 most days while Toby was in nursery. Its absolutely beautiful being able to take him out to different places everyday and just generally doing lots together. He's got such a funny, cheeky personality, there really is never a dull moment!

In other news tomorrow is my last day of being a teenager! I know its just a number, but for some reason its a scary concept! Being all 'officially' grown up and that. I don't really have any plans though due to the fact I'm currently saving up for bigger things (watch this space guys!). But I doubt a little drink will do much harm.

I have nothing new to report unfortunately so I shall return to searching for a part-time job and I'll update again when something a little more exciting happens!

I shall leave you with a few pictures of my little man building a bear. (Yes the pink one was his first choice til I persuaded him otherwise.)

Can I look like her please?

I'd probably kill for the 'bee stung' lips look.

I have a flat viewing tomorrow and im trying so hard not to get my hopes up cause I want it so bad! I know its not much, its just a viewing after all, but things are finally starting to happen. Exciting!

So looks like I'm using the good ol' blog again.

So I decided to delete pretty much all my old posts from this blog. Reading back through them made cringe of embarrassment if I'm honest. It really made me realise I'm not the person I used to be, and just how far I've actually come. My confidence has soared and I no longer let the insignificant, little things bother me in life. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be, and oh boy do I have a hell of a lot more confidence! I'm not sure quite what enforced this change but to be honest I couldn't possibly pin point just one thing. Last year was the single most amazing year of my life and what do I have to show for it? Nothing. Just a mass amount of life lessons and an amazing amount of memorys. I did things I said I'd never do, things I'm not proud of, and things I'm very proud of! To be honest though I wouldn't do the majority of it again, but I don't regret a thing. Now its the start of a new year and I find myself faced with a whole selection of new challenges to get myself stuck into. I made the decision to leave college just before Christmas. I didn't quit, I left with with the equivalent of two A levels as apposed to the full three, I just needed a change. I don't think I'm the type of person that can do just one thing for the rest of their life. I find things I like, completely throw my all into them, get bored, realise maybe after all its not for me, find something new, and repeat the cycle. This maybe isn't the best approach considering I have a little boy to provide for, but if that means I have to work doing something I hate for a while then so be it. See the thing is with me, I don't want to make a life for myself. I want to live! And I have once again decided you lucky readers (yes, both of you) get to enjoy my documentation of my appalling attempt at it. Enjoy!

Need these little beauties from Urban Outfitters in my life. I can't decide which colour though, and at £110 a pair I can't afford both! Daaaaaymn.

Well my lovely, little, blogging friends. It has most definitely been a while! And my oh my how so much has changed! I just looked through all my drafts for this blog that I never actually got round to posting as I felt they were a little too personal, but I now really wish I had kept you all updated! Never have I found a year as utterly challenging and emotional, yet so inspiring and accomplishing as this. I have learnt more in this last year than I ever did in any of the 18 prior to it. As totally cliche as it sounds 2011 has definitely been the making of me! It isn't even over yet! My confidence has soared and I have never felt so sure of where I want to be in life and so determined to get there! And my god have I had a hell of a lot of fun along the way! But for now I seriously urge you all to watch this space cause its gonna be good! Promise!

London

I took a little trip to London a couple of weeks ago now to go and see Les Miserables. I have never been one for musicals but I can honestly say it was simply stunning and completely took my breath away. I definitely fell in love that day and I would recommend it to all!
On another not here is a few images I manages to get throughout the day.
Enjoy.

Tobias.

 

 Pretty poor quality due to my scanner being a wanker but basically these our my five final pieces for the exhibition tomorrow. I chose to document Toby for a week as he is my greatest source of inspiration and my main influence for what I do. 

Shot and developed by me.

Scream it to the nothingness.

So finally my Internet is fixed after what seems like forever! It has in fact only been one week but there isn't really a great deal to do around here so time has been going rather slowly. I have spent the best part of the last week stuck in a dark room desperately trying to get my prints finished for our exhibition on Tuesday. I only just managed to get it all done and I am rather sad to admit the hard work recently has been making me loathe something I know deep down I love! I do not like this sudden change of events and I am really, really hoping my mind gets changed rather quickly as I have some big decisions to be making in a weeks time! Just a shame I always seem to be a bit stuck in my ways. We shall have to wait and see. I have so much I need to accomplish right now and I am finding it so much more appealing to sit here fantasizing about my future instead. It is a lot easier than facing present situations! Its all okay though cause I've promised myself tomorrow will be a much more productive day. My sense of security has been running a bit low recently which I hate! I hate feeling vulnerable, that's when all my insecurities come pouring out and I seem to be rather sadly getting lost in them again. In other news we have been blessed with some truly beautiful weather recently and I have been loving it! Its nice being able to get out and about with Tobias and do different things like go to the park, visit a farm, feed some ducks or even just take him for a ride on his tricycle. It makes me really miss being a kid watching his little carefree self soak up the sun without a care in the world. 

Inspiration.